Storyteller

I'm back . . . again.

2004-09-27T21:39:11Z

Okay, work has had me hopping. Buffy finally sat me down and threatened to let Dawn mess with my new OT Greedo, and I had no choice but to update. Poor Greedo . . .

All's quiet on the homestead. We're all just living life. It's kind of nice, not having to worry about squicky demons. The hellmouth seems to have slowed its flow of evilness. Of course, it's not completely 100% Pleasantville, but things have been certainly less crazy in our neck of the haunted forest.

Ben and I are going great. There's not much else to say. I think we're going to try and go away for fall break in November. We haven't decided where, but I've been dying to go to New Zealand ever since LOTR. He seemed interested in that. So we'll see.

Okay, Ben and I are heading out for dinner. Anyone want to join us?

Long time no post . . .

2004-09-11T16:46:52Z

So I got the job, but of course, I didn't start work at the school until Tuesday. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until I was up and dressed first thing Monday morning. (Thanks, Ben. Hee.) So I went back to bed after that. We all had a picnic in the park that afternoon/evening, and it was a lot of fun. (Well, except that Xander wasn't there. He's still out of town. Wonder what's keeping him? Although Ben seemed remarkably at ease without Xander around, so maybe it was of the good he wasn't here.) Mason, Kennedy and Willow's new furry bundle o' joy, kept us all in stitches. And color me surprised: Buffy really seems to have a knack for picnics; who knew that She Who Hangs Out In Graveyards could be so . . . well . . . girly? (No offense, Buff.) I started at the library on Tuesday. It wasn't as overwhelming as I thought it would be. The Watcher's Council library was pretty formidable, considering that Caleb's big boom probably took out a lot of the books they had (except the ones Mr. Giles Winona Rydered). So a high school library didn't really faze me much. Of course, the Watcher's Council also had more . . . uh . . . controversial reading material than My Friend Flicka. This should be a little less challenging than that job. I've been taking Spike's car to work, but I don't think that can last. He's so moody about it, it would almost be less stressful to walk. I put in a call to London, to see if I could persuade the Council to provide me with a vehicle of my very own. They said they'd have to mull it over and get back to me. (I thought about telling them I was using a vampyr's car to get to work, just to put a little fire under their bums, but elected not to.) Buffy's gone now too. She went back to California for the funeral of Phoebe Halliwell. I never met her (I think I may have talked to her on the phone), but Buffy's talked about her before, and she seemed like a nice girl. My heart goes out to her sisters, her husband, and her friends. Buffy didn't really talk about it a lot (at least, not to me), but I could tell she was sad. I hope she's okay. Anyway, I feel the need to go patrol tonight. Anyone want to go with me? (Preferably a Slayer, so I don't get killed. . .) Anyone?

I got the job!

2004-09-05T05:54:41Z

So Mr. Nowlin hired me. I'm the new librarian. I think he was reluctant, seeing as how I lack that whole college degree thing, but my stint as the library guy for the Watcher's Council in London sort of convinced him I could handle it. He claims it's only temporary, 'til they find someone more qualified. For some strange reason, no one wants to come work here; maybe it's the fact that we have our very own Hellmouth. Or perhaps it's the fact that the last librarian was, eh, disemboweled. Tends to scare potential job-seekers.

Spike was a little reluctant to let me drive his car to the interview, but I was persistent, which is code for saying "I bugged the crap out of him 'til he gave in." He finally came around to my way of thinking, and let me have the keys. I don't know what his deal is anyway; it's not like it's his car in the first place. I'm surprised Angel hasn't asked for it back.

I start work on Monday. I'm excited, but nervous. I'm gonna talk to Mr. Giles about it, just to get the input of someone who's been there before. Of course, he ended up blowing his library (and the whole school) to smithereens, but there were extenuating circumstances. I just hope I don't have to drive Spike insane every day just to get to take the car. (Cuz he was insane before, and, yeah, not fun.) Perhaps it's time to look into an automobile of my very own. (But not like the Citroen Xander says Mr. Giles used to have; I may be a librarian now, but I refuse to drive a librarian car.)

Ben and I are going to settle in and watch our new Star Trek DVDs. Yeah, the first season of the original series. You should see the packaging on this thing. It's really cool. Anyway, I'm going now. Yeah.

Possible new career opportunity? . . .

2004-09-02T21:17:59Z

Since everyone's in get-a-job mode around here, I thought I would do the same. The consulate project doesn't really seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, and I can't just sit around and watch Babylon 5 24-7. I did some digging, and it turns out, coincidentally, Dawn's school, Valley Forge High, is in need of a new librarian. Yes, I'm trying to follow in the illustrious career path of Mr. Giles (who, by the way, returned from abroad, allaying all our fears for his well-being; I know I'm glad he's home safe). Anyway, I called and scheduled an appointment to go talk to Mr. Nowlin, the principal, tomorrow morning. I need to see if I can borrow Spike's car, seeing as how it's in Parma Heights, and the bus gives me hives. I'm excited; I'm sure Dawn will be too. Hee.

In other news, Willow and Kennedy got a new puppy, Mason. Now, I'm more of a cat person myself, but I could totally fall for this dog. He's got the sweetest face. He's so cute. So, congrats, girls! (And don't let him pee on my stuff.)

Okay, gotta go edit my resume. I wonder if "memorization of the Klingon Dictionary" would be impressive . . .?

I found someone . . . to take away the heartache . . .

2004-08-31T21:56:03Z

It's been a while. Spike and I had our big night on the town, and the less said about that the better. The next night, after we had recuperated, we started out on the road. We were just leaving the hotel when I spotted none other than Ben walking down the street in that direction! Well, color me stunned. I leapt out of the car and ran to him. He said that when we didn't get home the same day as Willow and Buffy, he got concerned, and came on a plane to check on us. I was touched. Spike was nauseous. He piled in the car with us, and, thoroughly exhausted, he passed out cold in the back seat.

Spike and I chatted on the way back. We talked a lot about Buffy. He was still very hurt she had just taken off. I was surprised when he started to open up about certain things. Of course, he threatened to hurt Boba Fett if I told anyone what he said. (Poor Boba Fett; he's always being threatened.) Ben slept soundly the whole way back. It was so sweet of him to be concerned like that. I felt very special.

Since we got back, I've been living life, doing stuff with Ben and with everyone else. It's been nice. There hasn't been any sort of Hellmouthy evilness in a while, so it's been (dare I say it?) really dull here at Slayer Central, at least as far as fighting evil goes. (Of course, now that I've said it, something evil and icky is bound to come crashing through the door any minute. Good one, Andrew.) With Kennedy back home, Willow's been happy; and Buffy and Spike seem to have worked out whatever was going on with them in Boston. Everything here is good. Love is in the air, autumn is on its way, and all is right with the world.

Just one thing is bothering me: Has anyone heard from Mr. Giles? Buffy? Xander? Willow? Anyone? Maybe one of us should put in a call to the Watcher's Council . . .

Night out with Spike . . . uh oh.

2004-08-24T04:07:40Z

So after days of searching through the Boston streets for clues, evidence, anything that could lead us to some answers in the slaying of that Slayer, (and treading lightly after that phone call) we finally got a tip-off: The culprit was a squicky demon by the name of Tlaloc. This evidence was stuff the four of us (Buffy, Willow, Spike, and me) all uncovered mostly on our own; Simon was virtually no help at all. He was mostly paralyzed by fear and paranoia. I didn't tell him about the mystery phone call; that was the last thing we needed, was for him to get even more paranoid.

Anyway, we found Tlaloc, and Buffy did what Buffy does. Case closed . . . right?

The strangest thing happened today. Buffy and Willow just up and left, took a flight back to Cleveland. Maybe they were homesick, but I don't think so. Not from the way Spike's been acting. ~~He's been sulking around the room like a little lost puppy, taking little forlorn sips from his ever present flask -- Owww! Spike! Okay, okay! Fine, I'll change it.~~ He's been perfectly normal. Absolutely no sulking. It's like he's completely unaffected by her leaving. Is that better?

Ooookay. Spike just told me to change clothes, because we're going out. Apparently, he wants to take me for drinks. Why do I feel like this is not such a good idea? . . .

Road trip from hell and creepy British guys. . .

2004-08-18T22:13:07Z

So Buffy, Willow, Spike, and I do not exactly make the best traveling companions, at least not cramped into that little teeny car Spike jacked from Angel for nearly ten hours. I tried to keep to myself, listening to Weird Al Yankovic on my headphones and reading my Fantastic Four books, but Willow started to complain that the music was too loud ("'The Saga Begins' is the uber-suck!"), so I turned it down, then off. She was watching the men's swimming Olympic competition on a little portable TV, so I tried to watch along but she got mad (in all fairness, I did try to take it from her at one point -- Ian Thorpe, yummy) and threatened to hex me if I tried to take it again. All the fighting and complaining caused Buffy to yell, "Andrew, if you don't knock it off, I'll show you EXACTLY what a Slayer can do. And not in the happy fun way." ~~I was so afraid she'd start speechifying that I did as I was told. Cuz her speeches? Not fun.~~

Somehow we made it to Boston, and crashed. Spike and Buffy took one room, and (after some arguing) Willow and I took the other. I did my best not to make her mad; the last thing I need is to wake up with a tail or something. So we slept in for a bit, even though at that point it was almost dawn.

After sleeping for a bit, Buffy, Willow, and I went to our rendezvous with the dead girl's Watcher; we finally tracked him down at Ned Devine's in Fanueil Hall. He is, to put it mildly, insane. He was very paranoid, which is understandable, seeing as how his girl just got butchered. But, hey, we're the good guys. Overreact much? I mean, he wouldn't even tell us his last name. All he would tell us was his name is Simon. Simon is like Mr. Giles, only a million times stuffier, more solemn, and more upright. (Maybe all the time Mr. Giles spent in California took some of the British out of him.) Anyway, Simon agreed to help us in whatever way he could, and briefed us on what was going on. We said we'd be checking things out in town, and promised to be in touch.

We went back to the hotel to regroup, and were relaxing in our rooms when I got a very creepy phone call. I figured it was Ben or Xander calling from Cleveland, so I picked up. It wasn't Ben or Xander, but a very proper-sounding British man. He asked if I was Andrew Wells, and I said I was, and could I help him with something. He said "No, thank you. Good day, sir." And then he hung up.

I was creeped out, so I told Buffy, Spike, and Willow what happened. The first thought that popped into our heads was that it was someone from the Watcher's Council. It wasn't Mr. Giles, and it wasn't Simon. It was obviously someone who knows who I am, so I figure he must know who the others are too. It was really creepy, no matter who it was. We're all a little freaked out by it.

We will see what happens, and be on our guard.

The Scooby gang hits the road . . .

2004-08-17T04:51:25Z

Another Slayer has been found dead and mutilated in Boston. This does not look good. Something out there seems to be once again targeting Slayers. I wonder if the First is at it again, or if this is some new threat.

Buffy has quickly organized a road trip to Boston to check things out, see what we can find. I feel it's my duty to go along, being the Watcher's Council representative in the States. (Mr. Giles returned to England this past week on orders from the Council, which is semi-strange since they just sent us to America a short while ago. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, probably just a briefing on the consulate project before we get the ball rolling.)

We're leaving in just a little while; Buffy feels (and rightly so) that it's better to drive at night, so that we don't have to worry about Spike in regard to that whole bursting-into-flame thing.

Ben has decided to stay behind in Cleveland. He doesn't like road trips much, says he gets motion sickness really badly in cars. Personally, I don't think he likes America much; the culture shock hasn't really been easy for him. We're working through it though. Anyway, so he's staying here while we go off in search of the Big Bad. I hope he'll be all right by himself. I'm sure he will be; I'm just feeling the separation anxiety already.

Okay, I need to go pack now. I don't know how long we'll be gone, so I'll just have to use good sense on how much to pack. ~~I wonder if there's room in the car for my Fantastic Four books. Hmmmm, I hope Buffy or Spike don't throw them out the window . . .~~

. . . . . .

2004-08-13T02:16:29Z

Sounds like every one had some fun with Casper the Friendly Ghost today while Ben and I were out. I missed everyone getting pantsed? (Although, yeah, had my share of that, to be sure.) And I missed the big unveiling of our spook? Bummer. Whenever the action goes down, I'm out and about, or knocked unconscious. Thus is the fate of a Watcher, from what I'm told about the various misadventures of Mr. Giles. *sigh* I'll never be James Bond . . .

I need to find out from Mr. Giles when we're to start work on the consulate project. Things have been quiet on the Council front lately, except when they called and sent Buffy to investigate the dead Slayer incident. Wonder what's going on with that project. I need to do something work-related here. ~~Of course, some could argue that I am doing something work-related, but that's not exactly what I meant.~~

Speaking of which, I think we're gonna watch a movie. Anyone else want to come join us? It's Goldfinger . . . .Any takers?

Hmmm . . .

2004-08-10T05:54:41Z

Something weird happened today. I was telling Ben about how I was sort of antagonistic to Dawn the other night, when all of a sudden my belt buckle popped right off, and my pants fell down around my ankles! I know I've been eating a little more than usual lately (American food beats English food any day), but I didn't think I had put on that much weight! Guess I need to do a few more crunches before bed tonight. Weird . . .

Eleven o' clock and all is well . . .

2004-08-09T05:05:32Z

Things have finally settled in here. There have been no disappearances into other dimensions, no sexual marathons with succubi, no obsessions of any kind to speak of . . . So I'd say that qualifies as a pretty slow week in our neck of the woods. Ben and I have put all the drama behind us and are moving on with our lives. It's a wonderful thing, being in a relationship. It's totally not like you see in the movies or on TV; Han and Leia is not a real-life relationship, no matter how awesome they are as a couple. It's hard work, maintaining a relationship, but the rewards are endless.

We went to see Spider-Man 2 with Buffy and Spike. I think Spike talked her into it for threatening to let Dawn kick my ass. And let me just say, as nice as he is, I am never going to another movie with Spike again. The guy talked and made fun through the whole thing. "Oh, look at old nancy boy in his tights. How is he supposed to strike fear in the hearts of criminals in red and blue spandex? He looks like a big sissy. Oh, no offense, boys. Bollocks."
And so on and so forth. No more movies with him, unless he learns to stop talking so much in them.

Okay. Time to get off this thing and go see what Ben's doing. Later!

All's well that ends well . . . for now . . .

2004-08-05T05:52:25Z

So Ben up and went to a hotel. He said I had a week's grace period, and if I hadn't come for him by then, he was going to leave and go back to England. He said if he was that important to me, I'd come. And he was right. Last night I found out from Mr. Giles what hotel he was staying in, and went to plead my case. I first explained about my Buffy obsession (shudder), that it was a side effect of some girl kissing Xander in Africa. (I'm not really sure what the story on that is, and I don't really want to know either. I also don't want to know what the cure was. It sounds positively icky.) But I explained it to him, and he seemed to accept it. He said everyone else was acting strangely too, so it was okay.

The other thing we discussed, of course, was Xander. And the kiss. I explained that it was an accident, and that my lack of coordination is totally to blame. He said if he came back things would have to be different; we're in a relationship, just Ben and me. "There's not room in our relationship for a third party," he said. And he's right. I can spend time with Xander, doing geek things together, and being buds. But at the end of the day, it's Ben who needs to be first in my life. It's Ben who needs to be the top priority; well, second to my work with the Watcher's Council.

So he came back home, and I promised no more shenanigans. I need to go spend some time with him now, actually. He's got Ghostbusters in the DVD player, and freshly popped popcorn (extra butter). So off I go!

. . . .

2004-08-03T22:53:24Z

Oh my. What was that? I was obsessed with Buffy? And I tried to stake Spike? But Buffy's a . . . and I'm . . . Ohmigod, BEN! I have to go find Ben, and explain what happened, but . . . Oh. The kiss. Oh boy. Even if I explain about the obsession, will he still be mad about me accidentally tripping and falling on Xander's lips? (It was an accident, people!) What do I do? I gotta go find him. I need to see if Mr. Giles has seen him or knows where he is. I've been so . . . um . . . preoccupied that I didn't even notice he's been gone for days. I just hope he didn't go back to England without telling me. But there'd be a note if he'd done that. Right? Right? I gotta go.

Also, what the hell is that smell?

Andrew and Buffy, sitting in a tree . . .

2004-08-02T21:25:49Z

So last night I helped Spike remove all the sharp objects from my beloved Buffy's apartment. He was concerned for her safety, around all those sharp, pointy things. Kitchen knives, pineapples, razors (even those Lady Bics can be mighty dangerous -- please don't ask how I know), even her stakes. Yeah, I know: how can the Slayer slay without her trusty stakes? Well, Spike and I decided it was more important that Buffy stay safe, and not get dead, than save the world from the wicked undead. Heaven knows she's been dead enough times already. I don't know if her karma could stand one more test like that.

//firewalled against Spike//

What can I say? I'm weak. Buffy does things to me. After she discovered we'd taken all her stuff, she apparently blew up at Spike. (He's still got the bruise.) Then she came to my place and promised she'd take me on patrol with her and to a movie if I gave her her stuff back. I resisted, not because Spike had told me to keep them there no matter what, but because I didn't want her to get hurt either. She promised to take me to see Spider-Man 2 again, and the last of my resolve melted away. I gave her stuff back to her.

//firewalled against EVERYBODY//

But I kept a stake so I could take care of Spike later. Oh yes. I realized that the only way I will be number one for Buffy's fickled affections is if I knock off the competition, namely one peroxide-blond Britpunk who's a century and a half too old to be dallying with Buffy. I don't care if he does have killer abs, cool hair, and that flowy leather duster. . . it's just icky. He's old enough to be her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. (Talk about your May-November romances.) He must be taken out. It's the only way. Then, Buffy will see what a fearless vampyr killer Andrew Wells is. It's foolproof! Mwahahahahahahahahaha. Um, okay, gotta go. Byeeeeee! Oh wait, almost forgot. . . .

//end all firewalls//

A Little Poem I Wrote About Buffy . . .

2004-08-01T01:18:57Z

Buffy's hair shines like gold,
Her face full of beauty that will never get old.
She likes pineapples and undead boys,
She has killer moves and lots of poise.
She makes me laugh and makes me smile,
I wish, I wish, she'd let me stay a while.
She's so special and she doesn't even know,
My affection for her continues to grow.
She's the Numero Uno Slayer of the Vampyrs,
Her perserverance and persistence never tires.
I would do anything for her, my little vixen,
And I won't lie about it like Richard Nixon.
I love to patrol with her and watch her twirl,
Just being with my Buffy rocks my little world.

Sigh . . . .

Ahhhh . . . Buffy . . . .

2004-07-29T05:01:02Z

Buffy is my idol. I hope that I can be just like her when I grow up. I hung out with her most of today, just trying to soak up the essence of what it is to be Buffy, Queen of all Slayerdom. She seemed really aggravated, but it was probably just some pressing Slayer business taxing her overworked brain. She works so hard at managing Dawn, training the rookie Slayers, and keeping all of us in line, it's understandable that she'd be a little stressed. I offered to rub her feet, but she politely declined. See? She doesn't want to inconvenience any of us for any reason, even though I would be more than happy to rub her feet.

Xander's party was a great success. Buffy seemed to really enjoy herself. She scarfed down a lot of pizza. I hope this is not a habit; she needs to keep herself fit and nutritional for her slaying. A chubby Slayer is an ineffective Slayer. Wonder if that's in the handbook? If not, it should be.

Ben came home, but I was too busy attending to Buffy to really talk to him. He got really mad for some reason. I tried to explain that Buffy needed me, but he just went into our room and hasn't come out since. He locked the door. Maybe he just didn't want to disturb me from keeping Buffy company.

Ahh, well, it's about that time. I need to get some rest. I'm gonna bed down outside Buffy's apartment tonight, just to make sure she knows I'm there if she needs me for any Watcher-type business. She's so special. I hope she knows that.

It's Xander's party and I'll die if I want to . . .

2004-07-28T05:16:03Z

Oh man. This is just bad. We went to the airport to get Xander, right? We managed to pack more people into the cars than I ever thought possible. Watching everyone pile out at the airport was like watching those clown acts in the circus. Ben was reluctant about it, but came along. In hindsight, I wish he hadn't.

When we found Xander in the bar, I tried to play off how happy I was to see him, but when I went to hug him, I tripped over my own two feet and he went to catch me, and our lips brushed together for a second. I honestly did trip. Completely unintentional, but Ben was furious. He kept his cool at the airport, and in the car on the way back, so I don't think anyone actually noticed. But once we got back home, and the party got underway, he pulled me aside and unloaded on me. He accused me of kissing Xander intentionally, and he said this had just gone too far, and he said he needed to go get some air. He left, and told me not to follow. He said he might be back later.

. . . and you know what? Buffy was looking really nice in her little party outfit: leather pants, light blue shirt, and the kickiest pair of boots you ever saw. You know what else? Everyone makes such a big deal out of Dawn's hair being so shiny and all, but Buffy's hair is way shinier. She's actually a really nifty chick. I like her a whole bunch. In fact, I think I'll go back down to the party and tell her so. I'm sure she'll be just thrilled! Cuz she's Buffy. She's the keenest.

I'll be back later so I can talk more about what a doll Buffy is. Later!

Xander's coming home tomorrow!!!

2004-07-27T03:57:32Z

So we're all going to the airport to meet Xander tomorrow when his plane arrives. It's very exciting, having the gang all back together again. Everyone's just bustling with excitement. . . except Ben. He's tried to put on a happy face for me, but I know he's jealous. But he has to understand, Xander is my pal. We've been through the fire together, on many an occasion. We have our mutual love of all things geek. I mean, he's the man at the heart of the Slayer machine, for the love of Princess Leia! Ben needs to understand that there's room in my life for both him and Xander, and that I need to have male friends in my life, that being surrounded by this many women is . . . well, estrogeny. Very estrogeny.

I don't want to pack up all my stuff and move into another apartment, not when I'm just finally getting settled back in here and all. This apartment feels like my home. The girls' apartment in Rome, the flat in London, casa Summers in Sunnydale, that dingy apartment in Mehico . . . none of that felt like home. Now, fighting the good fight, alongside heroes of all shapes and sizes and the man I have warm fuzzies for, this feels like home. The people around me (even the ones with breasts) give me strength, and with that strength I feel like I could fight off all ~~nemesises . . . nemeseses . . . What the bloody hell is that damn word?!~~ foes.

But right now, we've got more pressing things to take care of than foe-fighting. . .-off. Buffy, Willow and I are going to set up for Xander's welcome home party, scheduled for tomorrow when he gets home. In fact, I need to wrap this up and go meet up with them. Girls?

O Michelle Pfeiffer, where art thou? . . .

2004-07-24T06:44:33Z

So Ben and I went to see the new Catwoman "movie" tonight. I am a fanboy; movies like this are a complete addiction to me, even when everything about the movie says "bomb". Anyway, all your fears are true: The movie sucked. Like, worse than Air Bud. Halle Berry should stick to playing Storm. (Actually, come to think of it, no, she shouldn't. Fake Jamaican accent with cheese, anyone?) Seriously. Halle Berry doesn't hold a candle to Michelle Pfeiffer, who was the quintessential Catwoman for me.

So, the flick completely ignores the Selina Kyle storyline set up from the comics and Batman Returns, and starts over with a brand-new storyline, in a new city, with a new Catwoman. Now, the problem (well, one of the problems) here is that the plot of the movie is essentially a retread of the Catwoman plot from Batman Returns, except that the love interest is a straight-arrow cop and not our Dark Knight. Had they spun off from the plot started in that movie, they could have avoided the deja vu thing, which would have at least been a new take.
Not that it would have helped. The movie's a big mess. The editor, the costume designer, and the CGI Catwoman effects team should never work in Hollywood again. That COSTUME? It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. And everyone thought nipples on the Batsuit was as low as things could go.

Anyway, so Catwoman should be tossed out with the kitty litter (sorry, bad pun). Coming on the heels of the superb Spidey 2, it's even more inexcusable. Maybe the Fantastic Four movie will be better? . . . Sorry. That was long and ranty.

In non-ranty news, Xander is coming home on Tuesday. Sure, things are different now, with me having the whole relationship thing, but still, it will be nice to have him back. The only problem is that I think Ben is a little jealous. I kind of got excited about it at dinner tonight, and he took it personally. I tried to explain to him that Xander is special to me, but in a different way than Ben. Xander's like a brother to me. There's been a void in my life since he's been gone; I don't really know how to explain it so Ben will understand. I just hope I can figure out how to work things out before Xander comes back home, because, as things stand now, the three of us as roommates may not be the best thing ever. Any suggestions?

Another day, another death-defying injury . . .

2004-07-20T01:23:23Z

Woke up just a little bit ago. Ben said I had quite a bump to the head, and some nasty slashes from the succubus' talons. Ben had Willow do a healing spell to expedite my recovery. My head still hurts a bit, and the slashes on my face itch a little, but I should be fine.

This is the last time I play hero . . . at least, for a while, anyway. I think the fact that I got taken down in the first round just goes to show I'm not really cut out to do the fighting just yet. In my world, as a general rule, the women do the fightin', and the men do the researchin'. And I couldn't be happier. I am perfectly content to do the looking stuff up. I suppose that's a Watcher's station in life; any attempt to do more than that usually ends up with said Watcher being knocked unconscious,

I tell you, I've never been so scared in my entire life as I was walking into that apartment. (Well, maybe when Willow sent that fireball after Jonathan and me that one time. She's a lot better now, though.) I tried knocking, and no one answered, as I'd feared. So out came that trusty credit card. (Which, it turned out, I didn't need anyway, since the door was unlocked.) I was totally quiet, but when I got inside, the succubus immediately attacked. (Thankfully, she did so in the living room, where I didn't have to see any Gilesian nakedness.) I put up my most valiant fight but she got the upper hand, and I went down for the count. This is me we're talking about. My most valiant fight doesn't really count for much.

The next thing I remember was waking up in our bed, with Ben looking over me, a cold compress on my head. And I kind of just basked in that moment for a good long while, before asking for a status report. Apparently, after Ben reported my non-return, Buffy, Bridget and Caridad mounted up and came in like gang-busters. Ben got me out of the apartment. Caridad actually beheaded the Bitch. (Sorry, couldn't resist an Aliens reference.) Anyway, good work, Caridad, and all the rest of the Slayers. You done good.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more basking to do.

It looks like that time again . . .

2004-07-19T01:39:49Z

So Willow, some others, and I have been busily researching our little brains out on possible reasons for the Ick Marathon going on upstairs. I mean, it's perfectly understandable (if totally disgusting) that Mr. Giles would be . . . ahem . . . doing what he's doing, but it's not like him to just put everything on hold for days on end. That's not Mr. Giles. I suspected that the cause could be magical in origin, and consulted with Willow on this. She confirmed that it could be, but said that there were far too many spells of a sexual nature to narrow it down substantially without more information. (On a side note, it's nice that we've been able to put the past behind us, i.e., that time where I thought she made all our friends go poof, and get along again. Willow's really cool to work with, and good with the knowledge. Why she hasn't been picked for the Watcher's Council too is beyond me.)

I went on that trusty old website, Demons, Demons, Demons, to research further, and eventually found the page on succubi. I read the page, and it seemed to fit what little knowledge we have about Mr. Giles's new gal pal. I figure the only way for us to know is for someone to go in and check it out. Yeah, that might be just about the grossest thing in the world to witness, but, hey. Somebody's got to do it if we ever want to see Mr. Giles again. (Or if we ever want them to stop making all that noise. Ugh.)

So, I am going to go knock on the door and see if he answers. If that doesn't work, I'll go in, one way or the other. (Got my trusty American Express card, just in case; don't break and enter without it.) And I'll see what happens. Ben has instructions to go and alert the girls if I'm not back in a reasonable amount of time. Hopefully it won't come to that. But it's good to know he's there just in case.

Okay, Andrew. Don't be nervous. You've lived through worse than this. You've come too far to let some possible succubus take you down. You've got weapons. Just be careful, and do your best. Just breathe. Breathe, dammit.

Okay.

Here I go.

Night on the town . . .

2004-07-17T19:16:44Z

So a bunch of us went out for Bridget's birthday last night. It was good of her to let Ben and me tag along, seeing as how it was a girls' night out. I was grateful for the distraction, seeing as how it helped me forget about what's going on in another apartment. (I think "Ewwwwwww" just about covers it. Bridget was pretty freaked after seeing what she saw. Better her than me, is all I have to say.)

Anyway, we were out pretty late. Seeing as how I'm the Watcher's Council representative and "must maintain the image that status implies in my personal dealings", I couldn't really get too sloshed. I did have a few drinks, though; amoretto sours. (A few being two.)I'm not much of a beer drinker; I usually stick to the sweet drinks. For such a small guy, I can actually carry my liquor quite well. ~~There was that one time with Warren in the back of the van, though . . . Never mind.~~ But last night, I was being the responsible semi-adult, making sure things didn't get too out of hand. I know Colleen and Caridad were drinking and are underage, but, hey, you try telling Slayers they can't drink and see what kind of battle scars you end up with!

Ben and I just sat and talked most of the time (except when the girls pulled us onto the dance floor, which was a lot). I love being with him. He's so sweet and smart and funny, and he's easy. Uhmm, maybe I should rephrase: He's easy-going. He has to be to deal with the insanity that is Andrew Wells.

Buffy and Spike were there when we arrived, and they came and wished the birthday girl well. Buffy, Spike, Ben and I did a shot of tequila, before they returned to the dance floor. They looked like they were having so much fun. It was nice to see those two kids have worked things out. (I'd like to think I helped a little. Heh.)

So, all in all, it was a good night. When I got up this afternoon, Mr. Giles hadn't put in an appearance with anyone. Hmmmm. Is this new lady friend just a new lady friend, or something a little more . . . Hellmouthy? Perhaps I need to confer with the girls on this . . .

A Short Post! Gasp

2004-07-15T01:47:45Z

Mr. Giles has a lady friend?! Well, miracles never cease. (Although technically he was with that girl Olivia, but I mean, that was less a serious romance and more of, like, a gross grown-up arrangement thing.)

Ben and I are doing good. Things are quiet, which, from what I've been told by those who have had relationships on a Hellmouth, probably means that the badness is just around the corner. But I'm ready for anything. The skills I've been taught as a Watcher have been put to much use, what with the disappearances and all, so I'm ready for anything that should happen to come our way. And I will fight for Ben. Enemies, beware!

Hey, Spike, since the girls are out for the evening, and Mr. Giles seems to be doing his own thing, what say we go have a boys' night out? We should catch up. You can tell me all about what happened to you in L.A. You up for it?

Hmmm . . .

2004-07-13T19:48:33Z

Okay, remember back when I said I was looking forward to the time off from Watcher's Council stuff? Well, was I wrong. As much fun as I've been having with everyone just being lazy and non-productive, and being all boyfriend-y with Ben, I need something to keep myself busy.

Maybe I should take up the baking again. It just occurred to me that I haven't baked a funnel cake in forever. I bet everyone's just dying for one of those.

I heard from Caprice and Isabella, the Italian birds I made friends with in Rome. They're doing well. I think that night on the town really helped them get over their romantic troubles -- especially since they both ended up going home with dates. (They're now seriously coupley with said dates.) And so what if I went back to the Summers apartment empty-handed? I now have everything I want in the form of a bookish yet debonair young lad named Ben.

I forgot to mention: The Scooby gang seems to be reuniting. Xander is heading home from Africa, as soon as he handles his responsibilities down there. And just this weekend, who else should show up on the homefront but Spike? Well, color me surprised. I had no idea that Spike was here, until Buffy told everyone. I had no clue, really. I . . . Okay, yeah, I knew first. Like before Buffy, even, technically. And I didn't want to tell, so I kept mum. Which I have to say, I'm very proud of myself for that. (Well, semi-mum, anyway. I couldn't resist that journal entry when I got home. But I don't think it gave anything away. Hmmm. . .) Keeping secrets never was my strong point. So, big props to me on the secret-keeping. Don't know if the Peroxided One will be staying permanently, but here's hoping. We could always use more testosterone in the building. (News, do your worst.)

Bridget's birthday is coming up this weekend, so I believe a night on the town is in order. I suppose I can tear myself away from a night of random geekliness to go out on the town with the Slayers. I haven't been out dancing since I left Rome, so it'll be good to cut loose and have a fun night.

Okay. That's enough for right now. Hopefully things will pick up now that Xander and Spike are coming back to the fold.

jedi_watcher @ 2004-07-09T21:55:00

2004-07-10T04:57:33Z

Went on patrol with Buffy. Absolutely nothing happened. Nothing at all. A whole lot of nothing happened on patrol tonight.

Bed now.

Storyteller

I'm back . . . again.

Long time no post . . .

I got the job!

Possible new career opportunity? . . .

I found someone . . . to take away the heartache . . .

Night out with Spike . . . uh oh.

Road trip from hell and creepy British guys. . .

The Scooby gang hits the road . . .

. . . . . .

Hmmm . . .

Eleven o' clock and all is well . . .

All's well that ends well . . . for now . . .

. . . .

Andrew and Buffy, sitting in a tree . . .

A Little Poem I Wrote About Buffy . . .

Ahhhh . . . Buffy . . . .

It's Xander's party and I'll die if I want to . . .

Xander's coming home tomorrow!!!

O Michelle Pfeiffer, where art thou? . . .

Another day, another death-defying injury . . .

It looks like that time again . . .

Night on the town . . .

A Short Post! *Gasp*

Hmmm . . .

jedi_watcher @ 2004-07-09T21:55:00

A Short Post! Gasp